273. Rocket Attack U.S.A.

273. Rocket Attack U.S.A. (1961)
Director: Barry Mahon
From: Sci-Fi Invasion (only 5 remain!)
Watch: archive.org

An American spy tries to get details on the Soviet missile program while a general back in the States works with an industrialist to develop an ICBM.

This movie might be best summed up by the riff from Mystery Science Theater 3000: “Wow. This is really dull.” The movie’s so dull, in fact, that despite being only 64 minutes long, MST3k cut whole sequences because they were too boring. The show that featured Manos: The Hands of Fate edited an already whisper thin movie down further because there was too much padding.

So, the movie. The USSR has put a satellite into space. US intelligence fears the satellite may be collecting scientific data for the purposes of developing an ICBM. A spy is sent to Moscow to meet an asset who’s sleeping with a minister of something. The spy moves into her apartment to monitor her and the minister when they have their *ahem* liaisons and get information about the missile program. Eventually they learn that the program has a working missile and there are plans to launch it against the US. The pair try to sabotage the missile, but get killed instead. The launch happens and New York is hit, killing upwards of 3 million people. A voice-over comes in demanding that we not let this be THE END.

Painfully dull Cold War propaganda. Even though the basic plot allows for some drama and tension, the movie instead just has characters chat about plot developments that happen off-screen. The funniest part is the spy has to hide in the asset’s closet while the Soviet minister is meeting up with her. It’s like a cuckolded James Bond: instead of Bond bedding the villain’s love, he watches the villain bed his.

None of that matters, though, because the real heroes of the piece are the industrialists taking US tax dollars to develop the technology that will help us win the missile race (which we lose). When we’re not watching the spy talk to the asset, we’re watching the General talk to the industrialist about how missile development is going, constantly apologizing for not putting more public money into his pockets. How dare the government spend its citizens’ tax dollars on food subsidies and price stabilization—real complaints the film makes, by the way. We wouldn’t have to worry about this Soviet threat if we didn’t waste all that money on feeding people.

In fact, it’s curious (meaning, “not curious at all”) that this propaganda picture is so focused on valorizing industry and waggling its finger at individuals and civil society. Our tax dollars being directed to our immediate needs is a sin that leads to us being hit with a nuclear weapon. Our press reporting on the failure of our ICBM experiments is a sin that leads to the Soviets being emboldened to launch a first strike. Our citizens’ dismissal of air raids and their civic responsibility to take them seriously is a sin that leads to them getting nuked. Why oh why didn’t we just give the military and Northrup Grummun a blank check?

Coincidentally, I’m currently reading Gore Vidal’s essay collection, The Last Empire, where he makes the argument that Truman, post-WWII, kept the country on a permanent war footing in hopes of maintaining a certain level of economic prosperity. To do that, though, the citizens had to be convinced of a threat since a permanent war economy meant permanent war-level taxes. The threat, then, was the Soviets. I was familiar with that argument, but it was surprising to see it so nakedly embodied by a movie. The thesis of Rocket Attack U.S.A. is that efforts toward civil society, in fact any economic effort that’s not directed at expanding the military-industrial complex will get us killed.

I could go on, but I’ve already gone on too long about this garbage fire. While it’s in the public domain and I’ve added my (very muddy) copy to archive.org, I’d recommend against watching it. Find something by Ed Wood instead. It’ll have both more integrity and quality.