You're Not Forgiven

Sinfest

I'm kind of loving where the current Sinfest storyline is going: Bad Behavior.

Party Invitation

tENTATIVELY,acONVERGANCE

I have come from where I find small bloodstains on my bedsheets to this new place where the discoveries are of a different nature. So a commemoration, as we do. This time: rough draft Halloween. Dress up, but not in everything. Save yourself. See this as part of the repetition: Preperation, preperation, preperation.

Let's all plug in to the telepathic disco, hard up for hand me downs no more, and the Koinos Kosmos gets us through the door.

This is the fall. This is the harvest season. This is when things lie down dead to begin anew. There will be a reckoning. There will be a calling to account.

Collage is not a refuge for the compositionally disabled. It's an evolution beyond narrative.

There are plans. There will be a progression. There will be an order.

I often use my mouth too, as two hands aren't enough, and the mouth is such a versatile tool for holding.

Beer, liquor, mixers, snacks, dinner, vegan ice cream birthday cake, and things not spoken yet.

Because you didn't understand what the point of anything was, so the future didn't save a place for you.

Do you remember? Do you remember? Do you remember? When we were magic.

Learn to be an honest monster.

Saturday 19:00 23.10.2010 Here:

Written on a Cocktail Napkin at a Bar

You're the kind of girl guys lose themselves over completely. So be gentle with him. He won't care if you're not, but it's better for you if you are. Devotion is an underrated commodity.

Make-Out Mixes

A friend asked if I'd ever made a make-out mix, which inevitably led to a discussion of which tracks could be on such a mix and which could not. I'd never made a mix like that before. The closest I'd ever come was a jazz/chillout playlist I made for an evening when I was preparing dinner for someone.

I'd been at her place a few days earlier and we let her iPod, set to random, do all the work. Most of the music I'd given her, which, on the one hand, meant music I loved was playing. On the other hand, I love oddball music. The obscure singer/songwriter tracks were fine, but the techno and hardcore punk were so mood-crushing as to be funny. Which served to kill the mood that much more. So I compiled a generic list that was, at least, free of egregious mood killers.

The mix was playing while I was preparing dinner (chicken in a red wine marinade, I think) and José Feliciano's cover of "California Dreamin'" came on. My date wasn't there yet, but all I wanted, when I heard that song, was to hold her close and dance so slowly to the soft sounds of that guitar.

This is the mix I put together from that memory, and maybe that mood dominates more than it should. Instead of being a make-out mix, this is the soundtrack for a lonely late night drive in autumn across unadorned Midwestern plains. I don't know if the person behind the wheel is driving to or from someone, but that someone's the only thing on the driver's mind. There's a radio signal fading in and out, broadcast by a DJ who doesn't know what he's doing to that driver, but the DJs never do.

excerpts from my note file

Writing love letters to dead friends.
I still get caught sleeping.
There was nothing, there was nothing, there was nothing, then there was you.
If I say I was in love with her, is it because I was or because I'm looking for sympathy?
I'm elegiac of the women I don't meet, nostalgic for the memories we never made.
Do you remember the things you burned?
I'm trying to move from bitterness to generosity.
There will be glass in the fruit before this is over.
Burn your birdhouse down.

Previews of tapebombs 8, 9, & 10

As I'm preparing what will be tapebomb 10, I realize:

1. that I have yet to make covers for and distribute tb's 6 & 7
2. that I had selected and ordered the tracks for tb 8
3. that the tracks I'd selected for tb 10 had some overlap with tb 8
4. that there is an emotional trajectory across tbs 8, 9, & 10 if tbs 8 & 9 are switched

Practical meaning: none. I have to buy some tapes.