My Jandek Plague Journal: 6/27/20 "Desecrate Me"

"You show me what I am/Because I didn't know/Until you showed me/Please desecrate me." I teach special classes on Saturday mornings and today was the first day since the start of the pandemic that we met in person. I ran myself so ragged with excitement that I was starving by the end of the sessions. I don't want to go back to online teaching even though I imagine myself a computer hobbyist. The pandemic has introduced me to new and novel was for technology to fail me, an innovative disappointment every time. But crisis always involves drawing back the curtain, the real horror is realizing who is working the controls and what their priorities are. Or maybe that's just what we tell ourselves. We watched as people died after their GoFundMe's failed to raise enough to cover their insulin. We watched Nazis rally in the streets. We watched police murder children on camera. Maybe the grand cultural myth is that there's a curtain at all and that we're not just watching all the time. -6/27/20. "Desecrate Me" from San Francisco Friday (one week earlier) (one week later)