My Jandek Plague Journal: 5/30/20 "Silent Wander"

"The sought after was not to be found/The contemplation was scattered/Ravaged and torn at the seams/The country lanes were far away." I remember the county roads in Indiana, the place I think of myself as being from even though I tell people I'm from Philly, Pittsburgh, Iowa, Houston, Detroit. The seams of asphalt running forever to an unmarked horizon taking my friends and I to the no-place of Midwest living, every destination an excuse for the sense of movement, the feeling that we were destined for other places. We weren't trying to find a new world to inhabit, we were looking for a world that had room for us, a space we could occupy and live. Instead, a new world with the worst echoes of the old world engulfed us, all spaces of possibility sealed off. We've been squeezed out of the old world and now find ourselves stuck still, aching for that sense of movement toward nothing. -5/30/20. "Silent Wander" from Not Hunting for Meaning (lyrics) (one week earlier) (one week later)